Just Charlie G
21. 04. 2015

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I try very hard to not care about ageing, after all, there’s nothing I can do about it. Yes there are fillers and botox and I’m not opposed to the idea of those things at all, but alas, they are far beyond my financial means, so no, there’s not really anything I can do about it. I gave up smoking a few years ago and I look after my skin but I’m fighting a rapidly incoming tide.

My grey hairs are coming thick and fast now, I’ve taken my hair a lighter to try and make them less obvious when my roots come through and it does work, but still, there’s billions of them and they start appearing within a fortnight of having my roots done.

My face though, things are going downhill really fast. I hit 40 last year and since then things have started to deteriorate quickly. Until a year or two, I was always someone that people thought looked younger than I was. It’s not the case any more, fine lines under my eyes are not so fine any more and I’m getting some pigmentation going on there too, it looks like I have dark circles all the time, but its actually little patches of coloured skin which is unfortunate, and then there’s the loss of firmness, everything is starting to sag. My make up routine is having to change also, eyeliner isn’t as easy to apply on crepe-y lids and I’ve started having to wear one of those clear lip liners with bright shades because of colour bleeding. And thread veins. Red veins on my face that shouldn’t be there!

And then there’s my hands. I bought this amazing set of rings from Topshop a couple of months ago, it had some normal sized rings and some midi rings… well when I put them on my hands it became clear that that style of ring looks better on younger hands. I hadn’t even realised my hands had aged, until my midi rings nestled into the wrinkles!

And then there’s the clothes. The clothes I love are all for people much younger and much slimmer than me. And yes, I can do something about my weight and yes I do feel that people should wear whatever they want to wear and whatever they feel comfortable in, and in fact I’d defend anyone’s right to do so, except me. No, no, there are things I definitely should not be wearing.

Oh and there’s the fact that in my head, I still feel 20.  Its a bit hard to look in the mirror sometimes and see a 40 year old face when you feel so young. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not crying myself to sleep each night, I don’t think about it a huge amount, but I do think about it, and its partly linked to mortality I think, not just vanity, growing old reminds me that I’m going to get older and eventually one day, die. It doesn’t help that kids are notoriously blunt about such things…”Mum, cos you’re getting older you’re going to die one day aren’t you?” was last night’s gem from Lola.

Generally speaking I’m fairly pragmatic about ageing, but I can’t help feeling worried a bit, I don’t like what is happening to me. I think maybe its a midlife crisis, and adjustment period now I’m 40. I can’t imagine I’m going to feel like this forever, but if there’s anyone out there that has had this adjustment period of getting used to their new older self, please tell me how it affected you and how you got over it, if you did!

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10 responses to “Being 40 and Ageing”

  1. Lyn says:

    Oh, Charlie, I laughed, in a very nice way, when I read this

    Middle age is now between 45-60 so you’re not there yet

    I don’t envy youngsters (anyone younger than me) nowadays as there’s so much pressure to look perfect. What is perfect? To me it’s a smile, a kind deed, it’s so true that looks aren’t everything. Seen pictures of super models without their slap and couture clothes and they are ordinary

    Had streak of grey hair in early 20s and very grey 50s. Never had it coloured as hate seeing different coloured roots. Started being adventurous and have it highlighted at hairdressers. Lass does it so well that no one said anything, no different coloured roots, just a nice sheen. Had my shoulder length hair chopped mid 40s as decided it aged me

    Clothes. Found my style and House of Colour showed me colours to wear …. new woman

    Haven’t worn eye shadow for years and, I think, neither has Caroline Hirons. Use M&S Autograph ultimate wear eye primer. bareMinerals Prime Time is superb but expensive. Both just give a bit of a lift

    Have you tried MAC Prep + Prime for lips? Guerlain KissKiss lip lift is superb!! Worth every penny

    You’ve got 2 young girls and you’re going to get frazzled. You’re going to look in mirror and wonder who the heck you see. Smile that beautiful smile and you’ll feel so much better

    I’m nearly 75, got all the lines to prove it but at heart I’m a recyled teenager

    Only thing I would say is grow older gracefully, disgracefully sometimes, and embrace the new you

    • justcharlieg says:

      Hi Lyn, lovely to hear from you. I know I’m not old, just older! You’re quite right about perfection, I don’t care about looking perfect thankfully, that would be a HUGE problem hah!

      I’ve not tried either of those products you’ve recommended so I’ll have a look at them, thank yu!

      What a lovely positive comment, thanks Lyn x

  2. kara says:

    I feel exactly the same its my 40th this year, I basically shop at primark and save up to afford botox. Its amazing! although very addictive.

    • justcharlieg says:

      yes I can imagine it is! I’m also wanting eyebrow tattoos, I’m trying to save but keep buying make up and jewellery!

  3. You certainly don’t look 40 in the clearer photo at the bottom. 🙂
    It is unfortunately part of life, I am coming upto my 30’s and motherhood has taken its toll, I have some lines forming, and deeper pores, dark circles, and just got fatter, which has added a few chins… unfortunately its part of life… 🙁

  4. Carly says:

    I think you’re looking fabulous for 40! Especially the bottom picture. I’ve a few more years yet but I can only imagine what you’re going through, but as they say life begins at 40!

  5. ali says:

    Hello! I came across your blog after reading a review on the boots website for perfume ( you’ve convinced me to buy ‘thunderstorm’. Not that I took too much convincing!)
    Then after reading your blog I recognised the locations in your photos. We must live quite near. Sorry if I sound like a stalker!
    I turned 40 In december, but with two small children ( one who I also being assessed for autism.) I haven’t had a chance to really let it sink in. I was depressed that I hadn’t completed all the things I wanted to do… haven’t travelled the world, swam with dolphins, usual stuff! Seriously, what was I thinking?!?
    But I have tried to focus on all the stuff I have achieved.
    and i completed some ‘random acts of kindness’ to Mark the occasion which I think helped.
    Please let me know if you find the magic cure all for midlife crisis though, as im sure if I wasn’t so busy I’d have one!

    • justcharlieg says:

      Ali, I’m just heading off to bed, I’m going to reply to both of your posts properly tomorrow once the kids are in school x

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