Just Charlie G
04. 02. 2014

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So this year see’s me hitting the big 40, I know I know, I don’t look a day over 39 etc etc…although I haven’t in any concious way started to freak out… anyone who knows me can’t have failed to notice my subconscious efforts to turn back the hands of time…

I can’t mess about with my skincare thanks to My Acne Hell (damn, why didn’t I use that as a title on any of my previous blog posts), but one day I’d very much like to go for some botox, those lines on my forehead are a dead giveaway, I also wouldn’t rule out a few fillers here and there, but it’s a pipe dream really since, even if I save up for botox, I couldn’t afford the upkeep (insert uber sad face here).

Instead I’ve been heading back to my twenties in other ways, in such a way that I hadn’t realised before now.

Music, my tastes have always veered to the more rocky side of things with more than a nod in the direction of alternative music…but I find myself actively searching out new bands of interest and playing them to death. Bands which quite frankly, if I were to see live, I’d feel most out of place since I’m the age of most kids parents who would be there…

Clothes, always a fan of leggings, I’ve taken this love to a whole new level with my addiction to Black Milk. Of course, with leggings, you need the right footwear, and whilst I wear my trusty Topshop biker boots several days a week, the rest of the week is split between my new Doc Marten boots and my Nike Blazers…

Make up, not so much an effect of a midlife crisis, but more a result of my amazing colour analysis class, my choices are bolder and I’m sporting a vivid lip most days…

But you can’t hold back the passing of time really, applying eye liner has become a massive chore as I try to glide the product on my wrinkly eyelids and there are two deep wrinkles on my face that like to harbour foundation, foundation furrows if you will….and then there’s the constant back ache…I went to the GP, she said it was just my age and gave me some exercises to do…

I’ve been battling the onslaught of grey hairs since my first child was born, seven years ago… instead of trying to go with it with subtle blonde highlights to  mask the greys as they come in, I recently threw caution to the wind and went back to my ideal dark brown shade…not sure how long I’ll be able to carry it off for though…OAP’s with dyed dark hair don’t look great in my opinion, but maybe I just won’t give a monkeys about that.

It’s a weird thing, suddenly I do feel old, I feel old physically… I don’t feel old at all at heart though and so I plan to go into my forties quite disgracefully, no more will I dress as I “should” (after both babies… I found myself drifting to the very safe Next to clothes shop) and I will dress as I feel I want to.  It’s a surprise, even to me, that I care very little what people think of my clothes. My nose stud has been with me for 20 years… I don’t intend to lose it now I’m knocking on the door of 40.

Until such a time as we become rich (insert hollow laugh here), I can’t afford the little helping hands I’d like with my face, like Botox, so sod it, I’ll just muddle along emphasising the best bits and trying not to draw attention to the not so good bits, I’m having a fringe cut in, in a couple of weeks, if no one can see the lines across my forehead, they aren’t there right?

How old are you? Do you feel it? Does it get you down and if not, why not? Do you plan to age gracefully, or disgracefully?


10 responses to “Midlife Crisis”

  1. Jude Dunn says:

    Hi Charlie, first of all let me say I love those Adventure Time leggings 🙂 Secondly being 40 was the beginning of all sorts of exciting things for me, I retrained as a Beauty Therapist and loved it, at 44 I achieved a lifelong dream and became an air hostess, I applied to Thomson, Thomas Cook, Virgin Atlantic and British Airways and got offered the job with all of them, I chose British Airways and had an absolute ball, best job I ever had. I then worked as a criminal investigator until 2 years ago when I was made redundant. I had a career break and have now set myself up as a Tropic Skin Care Ambassador working from home, it’s fabulous. Skin care is my passion but I didn’t want to go back into a salon so this is perfect for me and the products are amazing. I have dabbled with Botox in the past and definitely will be doing so in the future. I am 54 this year, I only have one of my four children left at home, she’s only 16 so definitely keeps me on my toes. I think I will definitely be growing old disgracefully but in a graceful kind of way, I intend to hold back the years as long as I can but I feel more comfortable in my skin now than I ever did in my 20’s and 30’s 🙂 Jude xx @jadlgw

  2. Leah says:

    Hi Charlie. I’m 39 – 40 in 2 months. I don’t look it because I’m fat and it plumps out what would otherwise be a face like a Shar Pei in a wind tunnel. What can I say, I’ve had a hard life! 😉

    I was there for grunge the first time round and am pleased it’s a fashion ‘thing’ for this year. I am forever going to be young at heart, no matter what the rest of me looks like. I feel your pain – some of the music I like is so ‘young’ that I’d almost certainly be one of the oldest people there at a gig, but next time I go to one I’ll be playing the sage oldie near the bar rather than the loon at the front pogo-ing like a teenager. My knees wouldn’t let me anyway.

    When I was younger I thought 35 sounded ancient, but now I’m well past it I realise age is just a number and it’s all about lust for life. I worried when I was younger what I’d wear when I got to this kind of age. I didn’t want to fade into pleated skirts, sensible shoes and chintzy florals. I feel that even more keenly now. I wear what I like and shall continue to do so. When I’m 70 (if I’m lucky enough to live to that age) I want the brightest purple rinse there is. The older I get the less I give a crap what anyone else thinks, so in many ways I look forward to being old and eccentric. x x

    • Charlie says:

      Leah you made me laugh. I went to see Ugly Kid Joe and Skid Row before Christmas. I wouldn’t have dreamt of not being in the mosh pit. It nearly killed me but haha, it was awesome!

      Amazing comment, thank you. HOpefully I’ll see you there with my Electric Blue rinse, some time in the future!

  3. Charlie! I’ve got a nose piercing as well, which I swore I would take out after a certain amount of time, but now it’s such a part of me, no matter what my age, that I wouldn’t dream of removing it. I love a bit of the tox to take the edge of those wrinkles but I’ve always been careful to have it ‘lite’ so that when it’s no longer in my budget the change won’t be too drastic. I love your post – I think feeling your age is something that comes and goes – sometimes I feel twenty and other times I feel ninety! Every now and again I think I can’t be bothered to dye my hair any more but although I don’t have many greys I’m not ready to let them through completely. And.. I can’t remember who it was that started their novel (not very good) saying they can’t get out of a chair without saying ‘ooh’ – that’s totally me! Making mental notes not to do it because that is really ageing! I think our generation of women are the luckiest in the world because we can wear what we want and age-appropriate clothing is pretty much a thing of the past, as is age-appropriate make-up; that doesn’t even exist any more. So, even though we’ve got ageless dressing and ageless beauty, just watch out for the chair oohs!

    • Charlie says:

      Ah! Jane… the chair ooh! I do it when I stand and when I sit… the novel by India Knight, I forget the name, but the first chapter was essentially a list of signs the character was getting older… I nodded a lot and laughed out loud.

      You’re right though, we can wear what we want and I’d never really thought about it, but we are lucky!

  4. Alexandra says:

    I feel you on the getting old. I will be 39 this year.And im already freaking out about turning 40.
    I started going grey when i was 27.Thanks mum( she went grey at the same time). I desperately need to dye my hair again, i have so much grey. With regards to my skin, i have oily skin and still get the odd spot. The bane of my life is the enlarged pores. Apart from that my skin is ok. I have laughter lines at my eyes. I dont see my style changing,i just wear what i think suits me.

  5. Lyn says:

    You made me laugh, Charlie, at 40 I remarried and at 73+ I’m still here!!

    Yours was one of the first blogs I found a couple of years ago and I’m hooked -also subscribe to Jane and Jude …. no daughters and dils not interested in the beauty world

    Last year I had a session with a make up artist to find how to do things and haven’t looked back

    I had quite a gray streak in my hair by late 20’s and I have been lucky as my hair went silver. Last year had it lightly coloured and only 1 person said I looked different … but I felt different. I would say the most important thing is a good haircut. I’ve never been a fashion freak and have worn what, I think, suits me

    Have a fantastic osteopath who I see every couple of months for top up. He sorted out my trapped nerve which I got from looking after my husband after he’d had both hips replaced within 6 weeks 6 years ago

    Age is a number, there are days when I feel ancient and other days I feel I could dance the night away …. but, alas, no toy boy

    Love purple but haven’t yet got the red hat. Still got my sense of humour even though some of my marbles are at the bottom of the garden with the fairies

    • Charlie says:

      Ah the Lovely Lyn, I’m so pleased you’re still out there! I know you must think I’m ridiculous! A make up lesson is so useful isn’t it? I found that with the BObbi Brown lesson I had, it taught me so much when I didn’t think I had much to learn!

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