Just Charlie G
12. 10. 2013

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I know I’ve said it before, but just a little reminder. Whilst still very much a beauty blog I like to occasionally post about other things, whether it’s my life, or a book review, or some other off topic subject and just to keep things a bit separate I keep these for the weekends. So it’ being Saturday here I am.

As you all know there have been some issues with my lovely eldest daughter, Chloe. I don’t plan to go too much into it all because I’m always concious that in the future she may read my blog so mainly this is a bit of an update because I know a few of you care, and because it’s good for me to have a place to talk about these things. Not only that but our experiences might help someone one day who is going through the same thing. So I’m going to try to be both vague and open. A bit of a strange combination I know but here we go.

Okay so I’ve written before about the problems we’ve been having with her over her little life so far. It’s taken various forms, with emotional and social problems at school and home and behaviour problems at home. As the years have passed we’ve tried to help and fix things ourselves with various methods but nothing has helped. The previous school seemed to be powerless to help her with anything and so we decided to move her.

Since then,  lots of ways things have stepped up a notch, for better and worse.

Her behaviour has been getting progressively worse at home but at school things have been good since we switched schools.

Actually now I’m here I’m not sure how much I want to divulge at this point in time but suffice to say that the school has been amazing and measures have been put in place to help us out at home and the school are managing her just fine. So although we’re at the beginning of a long road with her I do feel positive that strategies and support are in place to help out with what we have to come. She had her assessment with the Educational Psychologist who said at the moment her behaviour fell in what would be considered “normal boundaries” and there were social and emotional concerns but that at the moment they were small enough to be managed by the school. And fortunately CJ has an amazing teacher who just can’t seem to do enough to help and I’m so pleased. The school have arranged for some support at home. I was afraid that what would happen with the assessment was that they’d see a bright girl with no problems and say there was nothing wrong and leave us to it. But fortunately the Psychologist could see the signs and was concerned enough to want to review her again in the New Year. Which is a relief because there aren’t many feelings worse (as a parent) as having to try and convince people who think your child is fine, that actually, there’s something wrong. It’s a horrible feeling and one which brings with it much guilt. For now, I’m reassure that others in Chloe’s life believe what we say and indeed see some signs of it. The good news is that the Psychologist wants to review Chloe again. This is also the bad news. The reason being Chloe is still new in her school. The fear is that as she is more comfortable there and her need to give a good impression diminishes, the more the behaviour will slip and the more of the problem side of her the school will start to see. Hence the review.

So whilst a large amount of stress has now gone for the time being, there is still some stress remaining but a lot of sadness as we come to terms with the fact that this isn’t a phase and that the problems are problems that are going to be around for a long time. Looking positively though, we’ll get some help and Chloe will learn to manage life. She’s 7 next week, I can’t believe it!

Anyway, that’s that.  I could go on, but I’d be surprised if anyone reads what I’ve written so far never mind if I really start going into the details of the situation and everyone involved’s feelings!

 

4 responses to “A little Update On CJ”

  1. Charlotte says:

    When I was around the age of 12 I was pretty…unusual. I guess I didn’t get on so well at school but I just went through a phase where I didn’t really care too much for hygiene. Looking back, I can’t work out if I did it because I was lazy, or because I was acting out at something (my family has had a lot of ups and downs over the years). We moved house and I changed schools and I wasn’t like that ever again.

    I don’t know what I’m trying to say with this comment exactly, but I just wanted you to know that as someone who had difficulties as a kid, I turned out ok and it’s probably nothing very big causing this.
    I hope she (and you!) has a better time soon.

    • Charlie says:

      Thank you so much for your comment. It does help. It’s interesting that you mention the personal hygiene thing as I’ve not really mentioned that but it’s starting to be a big issue. I know things will all be fine eventually, my husband had a very difficult childhood but is married with two kids and is a company director so we know there’s hope, it’s just about making sure we have the measures in place to get her to adulthood as smoothly as we can, which I suppose is the remit of all parents!

  2. Annabella says:

    My cousin Lela is going through the same thing as you at the moment with her step-daughter Maddie. Lela blames herself for Maddie’s behaviour but she wasn’t raised by Lela and her husband Rick so they are on the long journey of having to un-do a lot of damage.

    I commend you for speaking about the issue with your daughter on the blog. It can’t easy for you and your family but it sounds like she’s getting the help she needs from others and has parents who love and support her. That unconditional love is what will get her through her difficulties. xoxo

  3. You know I’m right behind you in all of this Charlie. With a mum like you I think CJ will turn out just fine, whatever life throws at her.

    Lots of love, Nic xx

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