Well it’s been a very long time since I’ve done an update of this sort. Those here for the lipstick posts may wish to skip this one. If you’re interested in the background, you can find relevant posts here, here, here and here.
I woke up feeling sick this morning. Literally sick to my stomach, the reason being the time has nearly come. After three long years, some of you will have been with me this whole way, on Monday Chloe’s assessment starts. I am not sure how long the assessment process lasts, I think it could be months, I really don’t know. I guess it all depends on how many people they wish to involve and how much there is to investigate.
Three long years we’ve waited for this appointment and now it’s nearly here I kind of wish I had more time. I’ve got so much information ready both in my head and on paper, we’ve even got what is called a “working” diagnosis, of Aspergers, but still I’m so frightened. It’s not like I want Chloe to be labelled, but there are issues we desperately need help with and in order to get this help we have to go through this process. In fact, I’ve been assured a diagnosis isn’t all that important as there will still be, or should be, a plan of action after the assessment, regardless of the outcome. This is what we have waited for.
Chloe, like all children, indeed all people, is ever changing, but what sets her apart from say, her sister, is that her needs are so demanding. While we can have months with one problem (refusing to travel anywhere new for example), this can quickly disappear to be replaced by another issue. It is my belief that Chloe actually lives in a state of anxiety all day, every day, which is the root of many of her issues, and these can change as she focuses on one thing for a few months, then switches that over to another. She is still argumentative and challenging in the extreme and her behaviour is hard to manage, she also seems incredibly hyperactive a lot of the time. Add into all of this some sensory issues that just make every day life a bit more tricky..
I’m playing a lot down as I’ve detailed the problems in other posts and while things change constantly, NOTHING changes.
Some things have improved of course, we can now travel further distances in the car and aren’t so housebound any more, and she is much much better at occupying herself for more of the time so things are just generally easier, however, outbursts are more aggressive, and more extreme and socially things are not good. Don’t even get me started on the dental issues.
The Easter holidays, which have always been a source of extreme stress, have been relatively laid back, and bar a lack of social events for Chloe, haven’t been too bad at all, we even enjoyed a lovely grown up trip to town, the highlight of the break in my opinion.
So, with this looming and the Easter holidays I hope you’ll forgive my infrequent blog posts, and wish me luck for next week…I think I’ve got a few anxious days ahead of me. Chloe meanwhile, is blissfully unphased by the whole thing 🙂